Is Anybody There?
Head over to the Story Time! Page for a sample story from my anthology. Happy Halloween to everyone! This story is a good pick to launch things on this most wonderful, rainy, Hello-Weeny day of All Hallows Eve. Bwahahahaha….(fadeout and evil laughter).
They know what to do to speed up the reaction. Neon pulsations to speed satisfaction. Close your eyes. Meet the new girl as she looks upon the other in its taut social bondage, suspended with head curled backward toward toes and unworthy of pronouns. Chests expand and contract in autopilot, apart and hungry for a sliver of sensation while they stand in a ragged circle six feet away, watching. Is it conscious? Does that matter for their purposes? Biting the foil wrapped ‘round tingles more than iron flowing in skins. Hot and synthetic, creation of tremors ‘til the prophet rises to impart some moral. It is missed upon me as I startle when they turn their backs in unison. Twelve eyes, two more covered, and mine on coals now, waiting in the dark, frozen in the sight, shining and concerned that they see their reflection. She realizes that she is outside this circle and I see her expression change as one more viewer becomes a participant. One more step forward and it becomes consent. The fascination is too much to protest.
How are you sure of what is real on this stage? How sure are you that this is not the stage? Immersive experiences are trending. Investment in manipulation of (many) others’ uncertainty shall always pay off in the end for those that understand how to capture attention.
At any given moment during one of my shifts–sometimes even when off–I shake my head and repeat this phrase, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” It holds true that–if a day goes by in which this phrase is not repeated–then, that is a day in which I have not left my home and/or have not turned on the television or other electrical gadgets. Or, that I am no longer in healthcare.
Just as humanities’ antics tickle me with a glimmer of hope or happiness, someone does something insanely stupid in which I just stare at them, keep my composure, and carry on in my day. Sometimes I smile and nod. These things give life a little flavor. I have tried to be at peace with those stupid decisions that end up directly impacting me. Sometimes, I get carried away with all of it, and it needs to spill out somehow. This is a safe space, right? Find yours.
We all get those moods where you are up or down for no apparent reason. Then, there is That Person. This one comes along and single-handedly–often with one grunt, hand motion or sentence–throws your Mojo into the red zone of Life Sucks and you want to sulk in the corner like a berated toddler with your arms crossed and a frowny face. Well! I say No! Remind yourself that you are not the toxic assholes around you. You can change or close your mind to the things that clang against your attention. If you practice enough, it will become a habit.
So, what to do when your level of excitement is somewhere between a Pride parade and Dieter’s Dance Party on Saturday Night Live while everyone else is at the thrill level of a Senate hearing? Do as I often tell people, and that is, “Keep your head down and in the game and your feet running. Then, you will find yourself at a better place eventually.”
Throwback jam of today:
Depeche Mode
Shame
–Video taken from Rey Carmesí’s YouTube page at link above
I find myself at a precipice and wonder if I should go ahead and jump or find an alternate way to climb down. People did this before and survived, I think as I leaned to look. There are great sensations like the electricity of arising panic when the ocean retreats for a tsunami, with its inhale half Awe and half “Awe shit.”
“Safety Fiiirrrst!,” My intoxicated neighbor would say as he was climbing the tree to trim them. Yes, safety, would be the foremost concern of the anxious mind. The push for the new is always there. The anxious mind sees it as a threat. When you serenade darkness, then it finally talks back, only you are to blame. There is no calm understanding of it at that point. The will to flee kicks in and the dread comes in relentless waves that ooze like taffy, onto each layer, then, sinking into themselves to create a new picture of a plastic endeavor. Fear will eat you this way. Some forms of anxiety are valid.
So, I put it out there, and waited. Thought of all the things I could do with my time if I wasn’t sitting around thinking. Endless Starts and Invisible Finishes are my specialty, yet again. I was once accused of letting life go by me. Then, I snapped my claws upon the cape of the rabbit hole before me. Once determined, I will not let go.
Ah, the fresh fall air is upon us. My favorite time of year. Days go on inspiring long walks in nature, pumpkin carving, moonlight with campfire, scary clowns jumping out of your closet, and, most certainly, Horror Movies! Mission today: Find photo that represents me geeking out about some Horror Genre stuff, so that I may post it on the Blog, the inernet wormhole through which I shall investigate the universe. Priorities change in life, ya’ know.
“Dude, where’s my car?”
— Ashton Kutcher and Me in my 20’s.
I thought that I had already done the first post, but there are several layers to explore. Bear with me, people. Thank you for your patience.
Welcome to my site!
I started this to get my writing “out there,” unsure where this thing is taking me.
Why do this?
The hope of this project is to make money in a way different from my current pastime of practicing medicine as a Nurse Practitioner. I know, slumming it all these years, right? I needed a creative outlet due to reality being a bummer at times.
I am literally writing over the templated WordPress stuff until I figure out what this thingee webpage designing is all about. I am a lowly servant of the people and computers will most likely be running the world soon, anyhow. Here are the facts:
Ok, that last point was more of a fortune cookie statement, but these place markers serve their purpose in order to jump start my website.
I have always had my hands in art of some sort since I was a kid. As I grew up and began adulthood, I struggled with the grind vs. creativity. Then, becoming a soulless work puppet, I was deeply into professional life and became–shocker!–unhappy with that lifestyle. I sought ways to evolve into something that would not make me want to jump off a cliff upon awakening in the morning.
I found that mindfulness based meditation and writing has helped me to reduce the sense that Da Man is holding me down.
This will be fun. Hopefully for you, too.
KJK
World According to K.J. 