It generally takes some filtering to decide what goes up on the blog. Out of goofy rants and stories, there is also an undertone of genuine curiosity for life with its dangling thread of darkness wafting in irregular spurts in the breeze that my hand attempts to grasp along its voyage. That thread is tied tight to that poofy balloon of All That Goes On In The World Up There, which threatens to, one day, lift us away above it all. Until it does, it floats on across the landscape–at a critical mass going no lower or higher–just, moving forward. Curiosity does not always communicate into correctness. It is part of something innocent and wide-eyed. There remain posts when the mind is cut clean and blah-blah-bleeds to the page like the top of the head coming off of Canadian South Park Characters when they talk. 

Then, there are the timid that come vigilant to the spot where they think the thread will travel with best guesses and lots of calculations and numbers. They lie down and wait for it’s tail to wisp over the face. If it does, then there is instant understanding of where to go to get the next clue. The chase commences when the wind blows alternative directions. We cannot all run around grasping. Nor can all of us lie down to be the backs upon which the saved shall tread. Most of us are just moving forward just like that balloon, day to day, patching a path in front of us one step at a time without realizing from what material of the path is made.

An old colleague died by suicide and it made me pause. In this world, and in healthcare, we seem to just go from one task to the other, doing the best we can with often no thanks and often many criticisms. We act tough, but are only human ourselves. We need to remember that, though our job is to help people, that we need help from each other, too. There is help out there. If you need it, don’t be selfish–reach out for it–to family, friends or even strangers. You can get through it.

UPDATE March 31, 2023: Now the U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org made it easy to connect by allowing emergency access by dialing 9-8-8 instead of dialing the full number! Click the links above or below to access help or call 9-8-8 to get connected with services.

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